My mommy's heart

My little love has gotten her first cold ~ and my heart was broken. Let me explain. On Wednesday, Rachie started breathing very wierd. She sounded like an 80 year old who had smoked for 60 years as she tried to breathe. And I couldn't get any crud out with the nose sucker. The goo was just stuck in there ~ tormenting her. Dr Amber listened to her chest and said it sounded like she might be fighting her first cold. Okay, I thought. But then Wednesday night came. And let me tell you ~ my sweet baby couldn't sleep. That's logical, if you can't breathe, you can't sleep. She could, however, cry and she did. I did what I could to help her get some rest. But she didn't fall asleep until 11ish and was up about 4 times before her 4 o'clock feeding.

My heart hurt SOOO bad to see her in pain. I wanted to cry with and for her. And I felt helpless ~ I could not make it better for her. But I wanted to.

As I going through this, the Father's heart was being revealed to me. You see, Daddy God had to watch His Son in great pain and He could not do anything to make it better. In fact, Daddy and Jesus had agreed for Jesus to go so we could be reunited to Daddy. Jesus and Daddy knew what Jesus would go through. But I've come to realize that Daddy went through great pain as well ~ like the pain I was in as I watched my baby struggle to breathe and cough. Daddy's heart was broken over Jesus and my baby.

He felt my pain with me on Wednesday night and Thursday. My Rachie was His long before she was mine and she still is His. Rachie has been with the Trinity since the dawn of creation waiting for Jere and me to become her parents. She got to talk to Daddy and Jesus and He imparted her characteristics. He told her of what she would become and gifted her with those abilities. My little love has already been given a path to walk from her Daddy God. It is my goal as her parent on this planet to teach her to follow the path that her Daddy told her of long ago. No wait, it's not my goal, its my job. One that I do not take lightly. It's a great gift and joy and responsibility to seek out the giftings in my little love. It's my part to play in eternity ~ I beg Daddy that I will play it well and as He wants me to.

So, yesterday, D'Ana went and got me ALJ, baby vick's rub, baby saline, and loaned me her humidifier for my sweet girl. I set about to giving her the ALJ (a homeopathic supplement that's like a natural antibotic and helps with the respiratory system) about every 2 hours. I also started the nasal saline and nose sucking and vapor rubbing. I plugged in the humidifier and held her as much as she wanted me to. And last night was MUCH better. She had trouble falling asleep but was asleep around 9:30 or 9:45. She did wake up about 2ish but I gave her the pacifier and more ALJ and did the nose sucker and she went back to sleep. She slept much better. She woke up to eat about 6:30 and ate well. She does not sound as bad as she breathes either. She is getting better and I pray that she is better by tomorrow. I think she will be.

Tomorrow we go to my mom's for our Christmas time and we are going to pierce her ears!!! I can't wait ~ even though I'm nervous!! We are going to put pearls in her ears ~ when I go my ears pierced my mom put pearls in them!!

I'm tired today

Yep ~ that's right ~ I'm tired. I think I will sit with Jenna today and relax as we watch movies, go to sleep when all 3 of the kids are asleep, and basically lounge around. I've been doing a lot these past few days and now I feel it. SO today I will rest and play with kids!!! That's the best!! I love it!!!

In other news, I discovered a great Christmas gift that I can give to many people and it doesn't cost more than about 10 bucks!! I'm very excited about it!! And Auntie Kelly bought my Roo a Christmas dress!!! She said it was red velvet!! I can't wait to see it!!!!

Happy day!!! I love you all!!!

P S IT DID SNOW HERE YESTERDAY!!!!!!!!!!!

My Megan is 10 today!!

That's right ~ one of Rachie's big sisters (she has 3, by the way) is 10 years old today!!! Here she is (at about 6 I think)!! The top pict is my favorite of Megan ever!!! God has used her and her family to change my life countless times!!! I'm so glad Meggie is in my life!!! I love you, Big Girl!!! Happy 10th Birthday!!!! Hey, 10 on the 10th ~ its your golden year!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen ~ we have TEETH on the way

That's right ~ my suspicions were confirmed on Sunday when G G said she saw a tooth coming in Rachie's mouth!!!!! WOW says the crowd ~ she's young for that!!! The tooth has not actually broken through the gums but its getting close. Also, I cut teeth early ~ got my first one the day before I turned 3 months and the second the day after 3 months. So it seems my little love is taking after her mommy!!! What fun ~ here we go!!!!

The newest stuff and I cry a lot

Here we are in the house ~ yippeeeee!!!!!!!!! Its amazing and we love it!!! Soooooo much space!!!! We have almost everything up and put away.

Its also Christmas ~ that's VERY happy for me!!!! However, we are broke and I didn't think we would be able to get a tree ~ sad.

See, I love a real tree and hate a fake one. Its all because when I was about 14 we were having a very hard year as a family. Mom said we weren't going to decorate. I told Mom that I didn't care how old I got we NEEDED to decorate. Then a few days later I saw a REAL tree on the back porch and ran out to it and cried as I smelled it. Somehow, that tree brought great healing to me.

Since I've lived on my own I've had a real tree. But like I said, we are broke. In despiration for a tree, yesterday I started looking around the house for a fake tree of my Granny's but didn't have time to search very hard (three kids to care for and all). Then about 10 till 11 the doorbell rang ~ that's strange wasn't expecting anyone. I open the door to see a REAL TREE and Tim comes from around it and says "Christmas tree for you!!!" I start crying and of course let him in!!! My Daddy God is the BEST!!!

See, when I was a kid and my mom cried, it was a big deal. Mom doesn't cry ~ something was wrong. However, I cry ALL THE TIME, it seems. SO I can see my Rachie at 4 or 5 calling Jere saying "Daddy, Mommy is crying AGAIN!!!!" May it be a great memory for her ~ her mommy crying for joy over her!!!