Trying to process . . .

Bubba called last night and said that Dad moved into the nursing home on Tuesday afternoon around 4:30ish. He said that Arlene did well and didn't break down. Bubba called the Heritage during the day yesterday to check on Dad and they said that he woke up during the night and asked "Why am I here?" to which the nurse tried to explain that this was where he was going to be staying now. Then during the day Dad had just basically followed the nurse around all day. I plan to call the Heritage later today and check on Dad if they will give me information about how he's doing.

Whenever I try to process all this, I just can't. My mind wants to escape to something else. I don't want to face it. It hurts so bad. A few weeks ago at church the message from Denise was about God's mother heart and His desire to comfort us. I went up for prayer to be comforted about Daddy. And God did comfort me about what was going on at the time. But it seems like each day that something else comes up about how bad he's doing and i feel cut all over again.

I trust my Father with my dad and I know that Dad is in a good place where he will finally be safe and he can't get hurt or lost or mugged or etc. . . . So I just look to Daddy God about my dad. I know that He is able to comfort me no matter what may happen with my life or my dad. Is it okay for it to be this hard to handle??? if it isn't, i'm sunk!!!

I know a family who's son is 2 weeks younger that my little girl and their little boy was just diagonsed with CANCER. Whenever i think of them or the whole situation with my dad i realize that I would lose my mind without Christ in my life. I'm so grateful for who God has been in my life and who He will continue to be.

and so finally, i have been clinging onto this promise: "Be anxious for nothing . . ." Phil 4:6 Nothing is the combined words "no" and "thing" and i know that my Daddy God means what He says.

I love Him, therefore, i trust Him wholly! Please Lord help me to process all this new information about my earthly dad. Its hard so please make it easier for me to understand. Daddy, I cling to You always and especially now more than ever!!!