My mommy's heart

My little love has gotten her first cold ~ and my heart was broken. Let me explain. On Wednesday, Rachie started breathing very wierd. She sounded like an 80 year old who had smoked for 60 years as she tried to breathe. And I couldn't get any crud out with the nose sucker. The goo was just stuck in there ~ tormenting her. Dr Amber listened to her chest and said it sounded like she might be fighting her first cold. Okay, I thought. But then Wednesday night came. And let me tell you ~ my sweet baby couldn't sleep. That's logical, if you can't breathe, you can't sleep. She could, however, cry and she did. I did what I could to help her get some rest. But she didn't fall asleep until 11ish and was up about 4 times before her 4 o'clock feeding.

My heart hurt SOOO bad to see her in pain. I wanted to cry with and for her. And I felt helpless ~ I could not make it better for her. But I wanted to.

As I going through this, the Father's heart was being revealed to me. You see, Daddy God had to watch His Son in great pain and He could not do anything to make it better. In fact, Daddy and Jesus had agreed for Jesus to go so we could be reunited to Daddy. Jesus and Daddy knew what Jesus would go through. But I've come to realize that Daddy went through great pain as well ~ like the pain I was in as I watched my baby struggle to breathe and cough. Daddy's heart was broken over Jesus and my baby.

He felt my pain with me on Wednesday night and Thursday. My Rachie was His long before she was mine and she still is His. Rachie has been with the Trinity since the dawn of creation waiting for Jere and me to become her parents. She got to talk to Daddy and Jesus and He imparted her characteristics. He told her of what she would become and gifted her with those abilities. My little love has already been given a path to walk from her Daddy God. It is my goal as her parent on this planet to teach her to follow the path that her Daddy told her of long ago. No wait, it's not my goal, its my job. One that I do not take lightly. It's a great gift and joy and responsibility to seek out the giftings in my little love. It's my part to play in eternity ~ I beg Daddy that I will play it well and as He wants me to.

So, yesterday, D'Ana went and got me ALJ, baby vick's rub, baby saline, and loaned me her humidifier for my sweet girl. I set about to giving her the ALJ (a homeopathic supplement that's like a natural antibotic and helps with the respiratory system) about every 2 hours. I also started the nasal saline and nose sucking and vapor rubbing. I plugged in the humidifier and held her as much as she wanted me to. And last night was MUCH better. She had trouble falling asleep but was asleep around 9:30 or 9:45. She did wake up about 2ish but I gave her the pacifier and more ALJ and did the nose sucker and she went back to sleep. She slept much better. She woke up to eat about 6:30 and ate well. She does not sound as bad as she breathes either. She is getting better and I pray that she is better by tomorrow. I think she will be.

Tomorrow we go to my mom's for our Christmas time and we are going to pierce her ears!!! I can't wait ~ even though I'm nervous!! We are going to put pearls in her ears ~ when I go my ears pierced my mom put pearls in them!!